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Teenage Dream Review.

So it’s midnight and Katy Perry’s sophomore album (TECHNICALLY Junior but details, details…) has dropped and is ready for review. We were able to preview the album all day and at 12am est us west coasters were able to buy the full deluxe album! The album only cost be $4.39 since I raped iTunes every time a new single came out, so as happy as I was to see that price I realized that I still paid the full $9.99 if not more. Either way that shit was in my library and I automatically starting playing the new tracks. I’ll go in the order of the track list for this review, so first up Teenage Dream.

Personally this song is somewhat blah for me. I know, I know it’s starting to get popular and stuff but I feel like its super repetitive. Yeah sure most of her songs are and I love them but those you can totally sing too without sounding like one of those douchetards that think they can sing and try to prove it to people all the time. This is one of those songs of which you cannot casually sing too unless you actually have vocal talents. It’s an okay song and is perfect if you’re in love I guess. Not one of my favorites but it’s defiantly not the worst song ive ever heard, personally not worth the $1.29 i shelled out for it. The music video was okay, nothing special. Very normal for Katy Perry standards but it matched the song perfectly.

Teenage Dream - Album Artwork

The next song in the rotation is Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) which is a little reminiscent of Teenage Dream but a little more upbeat and has a funnier story to it. Apparently a bitch got drunk last friday night and danced on table tops and maxed out her credit cards and whole bunch of other shit! It’s defiantly one of those songs you will be setting to you “When I Was Younger” montage that you show to your children! Well after they learn what alcohol is and how much you loved it when it was illegal for you to consume it! It’s a nice calm song that reminds me of a mix between Justice and the theme song from Full House. There’s like Saxophone/Keytar solo towards the end of the song that’s pretty effing sick! In all I really like this song and once I own a car let alone am licensed to drive it, I’ll blast this shit everywhere!

I was already familiar with California Gurls since it was my summer anthem and the only thing I could properly use to describe how shit gets down in CA. However I would like to bring up the point that this song is about EVERY California girl, not just girls from LA. I doubt they wear daisy dukes and bikinis on top when there’s a storm fucking their shit up! San Francisco girls know better than to sport this outfit on the daily but we get the occasional moment to do so, alright NGC?! This song is not only catchy but it’s danceable. Even the most rhythmically challenged person can find some kind of suitable bounce or sway to do to this song. My only problem with the song is Snoop Dogg. I know him as the hardcore rap star with 20 babies and a pound of weed in his hand everywhere he goes, not the pimp of Candyfornia. And that’s the other thing, people always complain that the music video made no sense. “What does candy have to do with California?” Um well let’s see…oh yeah that’s right! It’s fucking Katy Perry in most amazing outfits, with the most amazing make up ive ever seen with the best hair on earth dancing around fucking candy and befriending girls who look like said candy! It doesn’t have to fucking connect because it’s just amazing, kay?!

Teenage Dream - Album Artwork

Fireworks. Well this song is defiantly beautiful like one but not as loud and racket as they normally are. This song is one that tells you to be who you are and shine just as bright as a firework! Sweet right? Well it is and I like this one! It’s nice smooth and one of those songs you listen to when you feel like smashing the windows of car that belongs to the bitch that you hate just because your bored. Trust me this one will help! You’ll feel twenty times better and the bitch can keep her windows because this song made you fell great about you and your life. But next week…the bitch is gettin it.

Peacock - Fanmade Artwork

PEACOCK! Rararararararah! I love this song, like almost more than I love California girls, and trust me I love that song more than anything right now. It’s just a fun ass song about seeing somebodies “peacock” which for some reason reminds me of the male genitalia :] So yeah this is song is defiantly a “Whip it out” song but hey! it’s catchy and cute there for it will get some attention. It’s also danceable, to some extent. Don’t expect to just casually bust a move to this one, but do expect the choreographers to get their hands on it and turn the bitch out! I’m hoping they do a video for this one seeing that they used the chance on teenage dream…because if they don’t there will be issues. In the end this is on my top 3 of songs on the album. I smell a club hit!

Circle The Drain - Fanmade Artwork

Circle The Drain, dark song but a good song! If you’ve ever been with someone who had a drug addiction or an addiction of any kind, one wtf were you thinking and, two this song is for you. I’ve been listening to this one on repeat for awhile and it gets better every time. It’s funny I don’t think I’ve ever liked so many songs off one album, usually I only like a select few and ignore the rest but this one idk there’s so much to like! But back to the song. It’s  a good song with a strong message of “fuck wit dem pills and ima fuck up ya face!” But in the nicest way possible. This song rounds out my top 3 with Peacock and California Gurls and deserves the spot! Check it out, it’s worth it!

Teenage Dream - Album Artwork

The One That Got Away is well, the one that got away. It’s nothing special, has a nice beat but nothing really going for it. If anything this would be the one song that I just kind of ignore and don’t care about as much, like Jan from the Brady Bunch. I mean I feel like I’ve heard this song a hundred times before, and loved it. But this time it just isn’t working for me. I’m assuming that this will be the black horse of the album because usually the songs I hate make it big, i.e. Teenage Dream, If I Were A Boy, Promise….the list goes on. And if this is the sleeper hit then hell I guess I need to change my taste in what I like and what I don’t! But yeah you might like but I sure didn’t care for it much.

E.T. - Fanmade Artwork

Extra Terrestrial, obviously this song is describing the love she receives from Russell Brand because well…he’s pretty fucked up! But this is song much like “The One Who Got Away” that I care so much for. However something tells me I’m going to be loving this song in the future because once and while I find a song that I don’t like a lot but for some reason I find it again and I love it! It’s weird I know but hey whatcanyado? As for night now It’son my ignore list but soon enough it’ll be my hidden gem!

Teenage Dream - Album Artwork

Third from the bottom of the track list is Who Am I Living For? Obviously not me bitch so don’t ask me. But no this song is kinda of like Circle The Drain, it’s dark and has a strong message but this is one is kind of weird for me. I don’t hate it but I don’t love it, its in my musical limbo where it’s just kind of there. Maybe i’ll listen to it here and there and other times I’ll just skip it. However it’s a pretty good song, slow but progressive and it definently gets your attention when you listen to it. It reminds me of a slower version of Christina’s Prima Dona (Youtube it). I think this one will be another one of me future gems that i’ll fall in love with when I have my ipod on shuffle!

Teenage Dream - Album Artwork

Pearl! This song comes in fifth for me. I like it a lot but not enough to listen to it on repeat 40 times in one sitting like I’d do with my top 3! I like the message of this song because I see this happen to a lot of my friends. Being the best people to be around; funny, smart, outgoing, and free spirited but then a boy comes around takes that shit away. Shame shame but it happens. I can see this one becoming a club hit after it gets remixed because it definanty has that quality to it, wont stand well on its own but after Kaskade gets his hands on it this shit’ll be poppin! Worth the buy and worth the listen on repeat maybe 20 times!

Teenage Dream - Album Artwork

Humming Bird Heatbeat. This is a combo between Pearl and The One That Got Away. It’ll make a legit remix but isn’t anything special. I do see this one being loved the preteens living in wherethefuckamI, Texas. It sounds generic by itself therefore it become irrelevant in my mind, of course there are some nice qualities to the song but by the time you get to this one you’ll be thinking okay this is the same song I just heard at the beginning and middle of the album, NEXT! This one goes in my musical limbo right below teenage dream.

Not Like The Movies - Fanmade Artwork

And last but not least, Not Like The Movies! I really liked this one. It defiantly takes fourth! Deserves 30 time on repeat! I know I know it’s another love song and I just bashed Hummingbird for that but this one doesn’t sound like the others (which all kinda sound the same). It has a different feel to it, its slow but sounds more like it came off Katy’s first album which I loved! It’s like she capped off the album with something firmiliar sounding since she went with a totally different approach to this album. It makes me feel happy and hopeful kind of like how Taylor Swift makes me feel minus the fact that she’s like fucking 12 and wears irrelevant clothing. Either way this song is great and is one of the only slow songs i’ll probably ever like! A great finish to a pretty great album and already has me wanting part three of her mainstream career.

In all, this album offers a lot of pros and cons. The Pros being that about 60% is amazing and enjoyable and will be received positively and that most of these songs can be remixed into super explosive superhuman versions of their originals. The cons being that the central theme of this album is pushed into almost all of these songs which can be good for some but I like my albums to cover various themes that can be related too. Seeing that I’m not a teenage girl and even with gender assignment i still wouldn’t be able to be one, I don’t quite connect. Although I know what it’s like to be in love and have it feel like the best thing in life which is what most of these songs cover. And even with a few flops this album is definently worth the $9.99, as for the deluexe verisoion with the remixes and Teenage Dream music video, idk only one of the remixes were okay and that the California Gurls (MSTRKRFT Main Mix) [feat. Snoop Dogg]. Either way buy this album and I promise you wont be disappointed.

Lindsey’s Out?

After 23 days of her so-called rehabilitation stay at UCLA has come to short and non-surprising end. She was supposed to stay at UCLA’s Medical Center for 90 days but obviously that is not the case. I’m sure we all saw this coming and to be honest I know I did! I mean come on, Lindsey Lohan is a…well she’s crafty little girl that’s what she is! She gets house arrest and you think “Hmm. Good now she can’t get any drugs!” Nope, she magically needs to get wisdom teeth removed all of a sudden and gets a free pass to take enough vicodin to take down Tara Reids. Yeah remember her? She gets an alcohol motoring device and all of a sudden the girl is surrounded by a cloud of hairspray that “accidentally” sets the device off. Yes Lindsey I’m sure that’s it. So basically E! got the scoop which is surprising because they’re like always late when it comes to getting the info on celebs but hey everyone gets a bone here and there! Lindsey just got a new Judge on her case which I guess didn’t feel like slapping her around like a pimp does to a hooker in heat, or as Dina Lohan seems to think is the right word “Hardballing” her.

Her new judge changed her NEEEDED 90 day stay at the loonie bin short and gave her a slap on the wrist. As if getting out of jail quickly wasn’t such a scam. Who the hell gets time for god behavior after a week? Obviously not my cousin John and we all know he’s been an angel, no joke. Apparently she got out because her mental state wasn’t as “unstable” as they presumed therefore she couldn’t stay at UCLA 24/7 because that kind of treatment was only allowed for patients with a dual diagnosis. Um…when your parents are Dina & Michael “Camelballs” Lohan your mental state is all kinds of effed up. Just look at Ali! She’ll probably have to resort to outpatient treatment but she’s a free girl now which I think is the last thing she needs to be.

Well Lindsey, I give you props for once again fooling the system and getting out of trouble to the best of your ability. Your one crafty little girl!

New Jersey takes the VMA’s & DWTS!

So apparently we got the deets today that our favorite Guido was going to be on Dancing with the Stars! Yes that’s right, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is a “done deal” according to sources and will be in the next season of DWTS. Now if this is true then obviously  someone at ABC knew what they were doing. We all know that casting someone like The Situation is going to spark a lot of people to tune in and watch him either make a fool of himself (as if the Jersey Shore doesn’t allow him to do that already) or surprise us all and show off some secret dancing abilities. Either way it’s a smart choice on the stations behalf because we all damn right know we’re going to tune in and find out. The final cast list hasn’t been posted yet but when it is, and if he isn’t on it, then someone at ABC is going to get a surprise visit from me which wont end nicely.

Further more, New Jersey is really hitting up all the major televised events this year! Now when it was confirmed that Chelsea Handler was going to host this years VMA’s i just about peed myself. Now if you don’t know (which i don’t see a reason as why you don’t), I’m in love with Chelsea Handler in a totally no hetero way. Now hopefully we wont have any loudmouthed, asshole hobbits interrupting anyone because obviously that won’t fly after last year. But I do hope Beyoncé has another performance however she hasn’t been very active lately.

I just hope this doesn’t turn out like the 2007 MTV Movie Awards when Sarah Silverman (Another favorite of mine) hosted and didn’t come across as well as she normally does. Her sense of humor was suited for the audience seeing that most of her jokes are about race and celebrities….and the audience was basically all celebrities most of her jokes seemed like low blows. Like her jokes about Paris Hilton going to jail, since that whole scandal was going down, didn’t get many laughs since most of the celebs there knew her and didn’t want to be disrespectful to her face by laughing. But Chelsea Handler, even though having a similar sense of humor, probably knows better than to make those kinds of jokes. And if he does they’ll most likely be funny.

All I know is Jersey’s on the attack this year! First Jail, then Miami, The VMA’s and HOPEFULLY DWTS!

Why Don’t You Love Me?

Why don’t you love me? Tell me baby why don’t you love me, when I make me so damn easy to love? I think this is the perfect song to cover a lot of relationships. You know, the ones where you put all of yourself into making the other one happy but for some reason they barely, or just don’t do it in return? Don’t act like you haven’t been in one of those because these usually start around high school. Which I personally think is one of the worst things ever. How is that young people are able to think this way in a relationship at such young ages, putting yourself over your loved one while they put you over themselves.

Sure we could simply say that it’s just the way young people are in relationships because they don’t know what it really means to love somebody. But usually these are the same people who grow up and continue this same way of thinking. They had an excuse to do it when they were 16 but what’s their excuse when they’re 30 and still treating their significant others with no love, respect or loyalty? And what happens to other person in the relationship who is loving, respecting and devoting themselves with none of that in return? Look above. These kinds of relationships to me personally are ranked second to first on the “Unhealthy Relationship” scale, just below abusive relationships.

I don’t want to go into a frenzy of how horrible these relationships can make you feel when your “Beyonce” in the scenario. I’m young but I know what this is like and although it’s an experience I somewhat cherish because I will forever know that if I ever see this kind of behavior in a future boo-thing I’m out. I do believe this is knowledge everyone needs, but I just wish there were other ways of getting it without having to experience it personally. I don’t know, but what I do know is if you ever find yourself asking “Why doesn’t he/she love me?” Leave. Don’t question. Just leave.

Give It to Mama

This video is everything that I want in a Beyonce Choreography. I like both but I think I’m more in love with the Young Buck Green Light Remix set. Especially since all the girls are hittin it in 6 inch heels! Luam, who put this together needs some mad props though because personally this is one of the best routines I’ve ever seen. This would be perfect for a tour or for a group of drag queens, with rhythm and good lip syncing skills, to bust out at the club, one that would have RuPaul standing up in his seat and doing one of these,

All in all this is a great routine and the Ring The Alarm one is pretty good as well! Whoever that afrolush girl is obviously knows how to work it and is a great dancer. I will attempt to learn this although I think it’ll take quite some time, slim fast, new heels, and some dance classes before I can master it.

Good Times…

So I’m in this funding meeting with the worst stuffy nose I’ve ever had. I’m guessing it’s allergies because i have no other sickly symptoms. Sooo I’m pretty good on my two Claritins which makes me feel like I’m Britney Spears in her 2007 shaved head era.

I’m kind of dizzy and a little lost and sometimes forget I’m at work and not sleeping at home buuuut hey! If all these meds allows me to breath through at least one nostril and not suffocate when I’m blowing my nose then I don’t mind the feeling. OH and good news! Through my med high I was able to choose a college! Now since I’m new to the blog you guys have not been around through my long and stressful process of choosing which school I was going to choose. But I can catch you up right now.

So I applied to 24 schools. 8 public, 16 private. I was accepted to 4 of the publics and about 12 of the privates. (Comment me if you wish to have a list for some reason.) But really I was already set on going to Dominican over here in San Rafael. I only applied to all the others just because I wanted choices just in case somewhere else offered me better financial aid. And I’m glad i did because I would have been screwed.

So I got back all of my acceptances and the award letters and was awakened by reality. My dream school, Dominican wanted me to magically find $25,000. This was AFTER financial aid…I’m not going to lie. My family is low budget, it’s actually close to no budget. Now I know there’s loans but forreal? If we make just over the amount that you want us to pay why would you even play me by sending me the letter? Like don’t ever just do that. So being crushed I thought that I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere if it was going to cost that much. But then a ray of light shinned down on me. Two schools both further away than I would have liked made my life happy again.

Linfield College & Seattle University both gave me an affordable price. $14,000. Now I know what your saying, “Wow Dominic, that’s only $10,000 less,” and yeah but it’s the lowest offer was given and even better I was able to choose between two schools instead of only having to go with one because it was the only one to offer me that price. But then something even better happened! I got a scholarship for $2000 dollars. Therefore both schools would cost me $12,000 which is pretty good. Id prefer to take out a $12,000 loan compared to a $25,000 one.

So last night I had to make a decision. I know I had till tonight to make up my mind but so did everyone else so I thought I’d be beat half of the people to it and get higher on the housing list. And I made that hard decision. Drum Roll please…[insert drum roll noise] SEATTLE UNIVERSITY! I’ll be a Redhawk!

I’m excited to be able to go pretty far away because well now I’ll be able to grow up. Sadly I wont be at CHALK anymore but i’ll never forget my time here. And plus! I still have the summer soooooo we can still party until then. Sorry if parts of this entry didn’t make some kind of sense but the meds are still in me sooo I’m still in my Britney trance. But yay! I chose a college and now I just have to sit back, relax and still try and pass high school!

MHM GURL!

J’adore Weitzman, La Vie et Moi Louis, Dolce Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, Gucci,Fendi, et Prada. Valentino, Armani too. Merde I love those Minolo.

While you enjoy my little treat uptop let’s talk about my favorite thing, Drag Queens. Why are they so fun? Why are they so over the top? How can they really pull off looking like straight up girls?

Answer: Magic. Personality. & superior make-up skills.

JujuBee

It’s ridiculous how they are able to transform from guys to believable girls. Now not every Queen is that convincing, I mean sometimes they just cant hide it. But queens likeJuJu up above there are so good at applying their make-up and padding and just embodying the essence that is being a women that you probably couldn’t tell they were men unless they talked.

I think my most favorite queens are from Drag Race only because compared to your everyday club queen they look like they know what they’re doing. They know how they look in certain clothes. Which shades look best of them. The perfect techniques for absolute perfect make-up application. And genetically can just pull off what they do. Like Tatiana, who I think is the only drag queen who I just really think is secretly a girl and wont tell us.

Tatiana before & after drag.

Like don’t ever just be that convincing because she’s beautiful. But at the same time I think every contestant on the show is casted just for those reasons. Obviously if they’re the best in the game then they’re going to make it and blow all the other average girls out of the water. I don’t know, I mean I’ve never seen a queen outside of the show that puts that much effort in transforming for it to be almost undetectable.

I think padding has a lot to do with it. I mean if they can create the hips and booty of a girl and do the same for up north then your pretty much in business for a realistic believeable look.

Another thing that I think makes Drag Queens so fun is that they are the most entertaining people ever. They do things in Drag that they probably would never do as their male counterparts. And the best part is everything they do it so racket and over the top which is my favorite way to do things. Their preformances are always intrancing and fabulous. The best part is, they get paid for it. This is their job, this is what they do for a living. In the end. Being a drag queen looks like a lot of work, and I love them for giving us the entertainment we need!