B.D.D.

Suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder for almost 4 years now has been a Hell of an experience and I’m still going through this painstaking mental disorder. For those who haven’t heard of BDD, that isn’t a surprise because this disorder has been one of the most understudied and ignored mental disorders  until recently where there are at least 1% of the population suffering from this illness.

To define B.D.D. in ver simple terms, it would be called “Imagined Ugliness” but the problem is, it doesn’t feel imaginary to the person who is suffering. The disorder affects the person by obsessing over a percied flaw or slight defect in one’s appearance. It’s not about being vain or being shallow, it’s about being SOOOO uncomfortable about yourself that you can’t even leave the house, passing a mirror or reflection without feeling like crap, and feeling prevented to enjoy social activities where you feel you just want to be by yourself and slowly transcending into isolation.

A lot of the time for me,  the hardest thing about  having B.D.D. is that people don’t take it seriously. They think that the reason I wear a hood or strain away from talking to people is becasue I’m “weird” or I’m trying to be different, when it’s really not like that at all. I think that the most painful thing is when someone is being misunderstood  and they just assume so many things without considering any factors someone may go through.

With B.D.D. there are results in which sufferers of the disorder when they look at themselves in a mirror see something completely different that a casual observer.  B.D.D. can get in the way of the sufferer’s lives in so many ways such as looking for a job, finding a healthy relationship, and being able to go to school. B.D.D. is a very serious mental disorder which definately needs more exposure and more resources should definately be available.

One of the common causes of B.D.D. is the mass swarm of media that is reaching teenagers and young adults with an iamge of the ideal perfection, that if you look like this or that you will be happy, your life will be successful, and even I admit to be hypnotized and severely scarred by these social “treasures”.  BDD is also often misdiagnosed because its symptoms can mimic that of major depressive disorder or social phobia.

Many individuals with BDD also do not possess knowledge or insight into the disorder and so regard their problem as one of a physical rather than psychological nature; therefore, individuals suffering from BDD may seek cosmetic treatment rather than mental health treatment.

Wikipedia and most online websites say that therapy and anti-depressant pills on a frequent basis can help cure BDD but personally I feel taking pills seems like “fake happiness” something that’s not real or natural. I don’t feel that therapy can personally help me because I used to see someone for 3 years and I would always talk about it and it helped but for about 10 minutes and I feel miserable again. Therapy won’t make me feel pretty and I’m sure as Hell don’t want to take any pills to make me happy. At the end of the day I just want plastic surgery.

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