Archive for February, 2011



I have been into skincare a lot recently and I just fell in love again with KORRES cosmetics. The organic brand that uses the most natural ingredients than any other brand out there. I’ve been using the silicone free foundation primer for about 2 years now and I can’t believe that it has been the only KORRES that I owned. Last week I went a head and purchased more products because I’m a hige lover of skincare and the fact that all their products are organic is just a plus for a neat freak like myself.

As great as it is, the price is pretty $$ but it’s worth it if you’re going to put something on your face, right? Invest on good skincare and foundation, thats what I say, because eyeshadows and all that other stuff have the same ingredients, just some are more hazardous than others *cough (NARS).

I have super sensitive skin and I have to be careful with what I eat which is really a pain because once in a while, I’ll want to just eat ice cream all day but noo, I can’t my body will attack me back and try to hurt me hahaaha. It’s crazy how organic makeup isn’t becoming more and more like a popular thing that people should rely on especially if they wear a face full of makeup everyday. I mean can you imagine a girl wearing MAC since she was 13 and fast forward to her at age 60? The damages can be very frightening. I still use MAC foundation but I’m slowly transitioning into all natural products where my skin will be better treated.



Standing 5′ 10″, with chiseled features and porcelain skin, Nico rose to prominence as a fashion model as a teenager. After leaving school at the age of thirteen she began selling lingerie and was soon spotted by fashion insiders. A year later, her mother found her work as a model in Berlin. She soon became one of the top fashion models of the period.

Nico was one of the most fascinating and mysterious women of the multimedia revolution of The Sixties, and long after that till the present day. She was born on October 16th, 1938, in Cologne, in Nazi-controlled Germany. At the age of two she was taken to the little town of Spreewald on the outskirts of Berlin where she lived together with her mother and grandfather, a railway man, through the end of World War II. Her father died in a concentration camp.

Legend has it that Nico told Andy: ‘I want to sing’ and he introduced her to his latest protégés, The Velvet Underground, a part of Warhol’s mixed-media Exploding Plastic Inevitable troupe until 1967. At that point Nico gave up modeling and spent a year touring with them. She joined then to sing in long improvisations as well as the classic Lou Reed compositions Femme Fetale, All Tomorrow’s Parties, and I’ll Be Your Mirror. Even before the legendary Banana Album was released she went her own way; the band worried about being eclipsed by her haunting, charismatic presence and forced her out of the line-up. The main reason was trouble between her, Lou and John Cale, jealously in love and hate, something Andy loved to witness.

The tone was set: her deep narcotic monotone voice became one of her trade-marks, as well as her low moans, high cheekbones and heavy make-up, a style resurrected by the goths, who anticipated the ‘Nico From The Grave Look’. With John Cale as her producer she made three albums full of mysteries, loaded with strange sounds and feelings and she started touring in a small scale, mostly in France and Spain, sometimes in the early Seventies in New York’s CBGB’S. Her performances in those times were unforgettable experiences; her singing, her playing on the old Indian pump organ, almost in a mystical intensity, echoing around the mind of the listener

In 1969 she met film director Philippe Garrel in Italy and made ten movies with him over the next five years, shot on location in Iceland, Egypt and Death Valley. Most of these movies were long improvised scenes at the strangest places with a very hazy story, built around the main character.

1976—1979 found Nico more or less down and out in New York, she even had lost her manager and friend Lutz Ulbrich. She moved to London to record the album in 1981, a record with an history of stolen master-tapes, re-recorded versions and most of all an unhappy Nico. But from that time her touring was more regular, mostly with young musicians, who brought a universal mystical oriental sound on stage, sometimes in contradiction with Nico’s cool and static approach, always smoking and drinking, but always very intense and fragile in her performance. During this nowhere really at home. She loved things that were part of that.

On 18 July 1988, she went for a bike-ride on the isle of Ibiza, she was visiting again, a bike rider of a healthy-living woman, almost clean of her narcotic past. people found her unconscious by the side of her bike, and took her to the Cannes Nisto Hospital, where she died at 8 pm of a brain hemorrhage. Not the thing we expected from the woman who always was living in places the sun couldn’t reach, she remained in fact where she was, her whole life a mystery!

Her ashes were buried in Berlin, in a small cemetery in the Grunewald Forest, at the edge of the Wannsee, in to her mother’s grave, Margarete Päffgen (1910-1970) on 16 August 1988, with a few friends playing a song from Desertshore on a cassette recorder.


I’m really upset of the fact that I have sensitive skin to the point that if I don’t watch what I eat, I break out in my face like crazy. I’ve been doing a good job in the past watching what I eat, healthy wise, not calorie wise and it’s really frustrating. I hate it because when I want to binge once in a while or just eat crap, my face decides to hate me and give me pimples. It’s really a pain because I’m not someone who gains a lot of weight, but I still can’t eat  a lot of the foods I like because of my damnnn skin.

The kinds of food that I have to stay away or at least limit my portion are sweets, salty foods, fried food, oily food, greasy food, meat, which I don’t really eat anyway, but still. The only “bad” foods that I actually eat would be either sweets or salty food, which is really not bad but unfortunately my body hates me.

Pastries are my favorite food but yet so bad for my skin. It’s sooo UNFAIRR, there are so many people in the world who do so many bad things for thier health and their skin in flawwwlessssssss. I feel like I’m on Jenny Craig now, I’ve always been watching what I consume, but can’t I just have a moment of weakness where I can just eat everything I want and not have my face pay for it later?

I’ve been really obsessed with skincare recently. I love the cosmetics brand KORRES a lot because all of their stuff is like 90% organic. I’m trying to shift in the makeup world of products that won’t give cancer years from now and it’s nice to know that I’m not killing my skin slowly like some cancer. It’s funny when I see so many people with really thick makeup on to the point where it looks like  a mask, it really is amusing if you stare at someone long enough.


I’ve been craving chocolate covered sweets this week and I’m totally hooked. I hate that too much sugar breaks me out though because there are time when I have such a sweet tooth. Chocolate covered strawberries are probably one of my favorite desserts ever because my favorite fruit is the strawberry!!!

Chocolate covered gummy bears are the SHITT!!! I swear !!! I remember first having these when I was little and couldn’t get enough of them except for how expensive they were, $3.99 a quarter pound??? GAG AT THAT!!! But luckily I found them at “Bristol Farms” in Westfieled and its only 9 bucks a pound which is really good since it’s like the most amazing snack I loveeeeeee :DDD

All I could do was think about them this weeka and I really need to get  more like I am going to go crazy, I don’t care if I get cavities, I want to eat as many as I can till I throw up hahahahaha.

I feel really strange yet somewhat liberated that i haven’t bought clothes in such a long time. I think it’s been three weeks now, and yes for me, that feels like forever. I’ve been buying a  lot of CD’s and soundtracks recently so my interests have seemed to broaden I suppose. :) it feels kind of nice though to not have to obsessively buy somehting and freak out if I don’t get what I want. I don’t really like to buy antything unless I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t have it anyway.

I really want this bag though, :(

It’s like 4 seasons old but it’s really cute that I would wear all the time. I’m onw who really likes kooky things and I love clothes and bags that look like art or something surreal.


Last Friday, I started my first singing lesson that I found on Criagslist, as I was so thankful it wasn’t some murderer or something but a really awesome coach I must say. :) Fridays at 1:00, I’m able to enjoy something in my life that I haven’t felt in a long time. I was nervous before I went, but of course it’s nerve-wracking, thinking that you’ll suck or the teacher is from  HELL but for a pilot, it was a very pleasant experience. I feel like I’m not totally tone deaf but I DEFINATELY NEED a lot of work if I want to get where I want to be vocally.

I’m really glad that I found soemthing extra to do during the free schedule that I’ve been having lately and it just inspires me to want to do more things. I feel like I really want to find another job and learn another language really badly. I won’t start school till the Summer probably and there are things I should do to keep myself occupied. I hate being boredddd soooo much it drives me insane. I usually like to stay home too which is the weird thing too but I don’t know, maybe I’m “growing up” hahaha.

Anywhoo, I plan on getting off my leave from Youthline and go back to doing really amazing media stuff  that I’ve probably missed for months. My face is still annoying me but I’m in a mood where I want to do more things with my life, keep myslef busy, and stop constantly feeling sorry for myself.

It’s been about a month now that I haven’t watched regular TV and it feels amaaazzinnggg. Normal TV makes me mad so much anyway with all the stupid reality shows and poor acting kids shows that are on every station and being famous for being complete idiots. I think that I just really need to get out of this country because it’s so out of fashion to be an American these days, it’s really embarassing if you think about it, do you think I could pass for Korean or Japanese? hahahaha, makeupp!


Since I stopped going to school for yet another semester, I have a lot of time on my hands and it’s starting to get a little frustrating. Luckily that means I still get to go to work, but when I’m not at the office, I AM SOOO BORED. There are so many things I want to do but everything costs money nowadays. I mean I can try to find a hobby and do something fun, but the wishes that I REALLY WANT to do unfortunately will be way too much for me.

I’ll be able to start classes again hopefully in the Summer if it’s not too crazy but hoping, crossing my fingers. SO for the next 3 months, I have avery light, flexible schedule that I want to fill with productive activities. For some reason I don’t have the desire to “hang out” with people lately because a lot of it is hearing bulls*** and like I don’t get anything productive out of it so it just feels like a waste of time. I’m not saying that pertains to everyone I know, just a lot of them I suppose.

Figuring out the things I want to do take time, and it’s annoying how when you’re trying to look for the answer to your problems, it takes foreverrrr. But I found something I think I would enjoy. I’m going to start taking some vocal lessons. I always felt that I mumble and don’t really eneunciate a lot of things that I say and it kind fo frustrates me because I tend to talk too fast and people don’t know what the Hell I’m saying, so I’m looking forward to that this week.

I just hope I can find my path and go to where I belong because I feel so frustrated. I know where I want to be, it’s just the problem is, How To Get There???


I have no idea why I have been feeling really tired lately. I feel so exhausted that I’ve started sleeping at 9 which is really random because I’m usually still energized by then. Maybe it’s work, maybe it’s not enough work, maybe I just need something new in my life. I feel I am at a point where in my fantasy, I would drop everything and live a whole different life, a complete 180. I mean I am content and appreciate what I have now but it’s not much to ask to have some excitement and I haven’t felt any of that in a really long time.

I’m thinking hard trying to figure out what is it that I need to fulfill my mood and get me out of this tired rut. I don’t shopping will help me get better since a lot of the clothes that I want are at least $1500 :( I was hoping to find stuff on EBAY which I usually do, but I guess that’s another drout I’m enduring right now.

I hope that I can at least get one summer class at CCSF so at least I won’t be home all summer doing nothing, plus I really do want to find another job in retail. Honestly, I wish I was in a state where I could move to another country. Of course I would have to learn how to speak it but that’s a plan. Stay in the States learning the language I desire, then moving there in a few years and live the rest of my life there.

What a dream.