Degrassi: No Really, WTF.

So I’ve been watching the new season of Degrassi: The Boiling Point, notice how it’s no longer The Next Generation seeing that well…we’ve been through like three now! So basically this season is the best one so far only because there’s a new episode every effing week night therefore allowing me to not wait around to find out if Ali is going to get pregnant because trust me…in those clothes…it’s gunna happen! But also because things seem to be 20 times as dramatic.

We got to start the season off with a two hour movie that took our favorite Holly J, our twilight wannabes Declan and his whinny crazy incest sister Fiona, and Jane who is unimportant and got busted out on “s”ing someone else’s “d” while she was still with Spinner. Anyways, the class of 2009 graduated like a year later than they should have meaning Danny, Jane, Peter and Johnny DiMarco, who’s last name must be said because it’s the only thing who gives him a personality, well they all leave the show I guess. Which is a bust because basically every girl Peter slept with (excluding emma) seemed to migrate to the CW, so sorry the possible Degrassi character who could have been the next one to hit it! Your stuck in Canada! And at the “Graduation Party” at Declan’s House, Jane decides to talk hella loud with Holly J in the changing room about sleeping with Declan which is over heard by Spinner who was tryna just ask them how they wanted they hamburgers ad flipped out. He starting punchin people in they face and just went ape crazy. So Declan was like “Hey Jane come to LA with us!” and she was all crying and like “alright i’ll come.” So they go and idk get jobs or something boring.

ANYWAYS, Spinner goes to a casino or something with Manny, Jay and Emma. Well they wake up the next morning and Emma’s wearing this wedding veil and has a ring on her finger. Well guess what, they got drunken married! Back in New York Fiona is all jealous of Holly J because she’s always with her brother who I guess she’s in love with or something because one night after drinking too much she breaks down and tries to get Holly J to leave by making out, yes in the incest kind of way, with her brother. DONT EVER JUST DO THAT! So yeah Holly J gets all angry or whatever and leaves. But back to the whole drunk marriage, well I guess somehow Emma and Spinner don’t want to divorce and want to love each other or whatever. Please tell me how you act like you’ve loved another character when they’ve barely had any interaction since the beginning of the series?

The Incest Twins

I know they only did this because Spinner was way to old to still be living his life around his High School after graduating like 4 years ago. And Emma was just not in the last series ever except one episode where she was just biking to hell knows where with a big ass group of people, anyways this was just sloppy writing and a horrible ending for them two because they have been taken off the opening credits for the 10th season therefore meaning they was given the boot! Manny’s gone too but we were able to come to terms with that 2 season ago when she “moved to LA.” So this means that there are no longer any original cast members in main roles. So back to the hot mess movie! Where was I? Oh yeah well Jane finds out Spinner is getting married like a week after they broke up which is just stupid so she tries to go and stop the wedding while Fiona is being sent away to the Hamptons for being stupid so boo for her I guess. So Declan and Holly J accompany Jane on her self destruction tour from New York to Toronto and both of them know she’s going to look like stupid so they try and stall her and she catches on and jacks their car. Well when Jane gets to the wedding that somehow was pulled together overnight, she tries to tell Spinner to not get married and get back with her but then decides he looks happy and doesn’t say it. But Manny comes in when they’re kissing goodbye and beats that ass! And by that I mean Jane.

Hot Mess Panel 1

Hot Mess Panel 2

OMG! I’m so stupid! At the beginning of the movie THE DOT! The Beloved home to lattes, break ups and this season Die Hard Epic Special Effects….BLEW THE EFF UP! Like it just straight blew up! Because Emma’s stupid self decided to go against Spinner’s rule of not hot sandwiches which i’m still trying to understand why you need a hot press to make those when a microwaves works just as fine, and it caught fire. Well after Spinner got his heart stepped on by that unimportant brunette thing, he had to come back and find his home on fire. But then the place just EXPLODES…so boo for him. But no worries because The Dot lives again because the insurance money came though and was able to be rebuilt. But back to the movie, after the smack down the wedding went on as planned and made up a majority of the movie’s horrible ending. And yeah. But in the second episode of season 10 Declan and Fiona stay back in New York still ballin and shit while Holly J comes back to find out that her daddy still broke and they movin into an apartment, PLAYED! And to my surprise…Peter has become the new Spinner and taken the role of washed up has-been “The Dot” worker so good for him and the future CW star! Fiona got a new boyfriend who likes to punch things, mainly her and everyone else is just going on with their lives. Sav decides to run against Holly J for student body president which doesn’t sit well with Ms. Sinclair because now that she’s broke she cant go to Yale like she planned unless she get hella scholarships and stuff so she has Anya fake a pregnancy so he’ll think he’ll be too busy to be Student Body Prez so they get back together and Anya’s all happy and thinks they’ll fall back in love and when she doesn’t get bigger her excuse will be a “miscarriage”. NOPE!

What else happened? Well I guess Fiona got out of her abusive relationship after he threw her down the stairs after she got mad that he was cheating on her which…doesn’t make sense but okay. And Ali gets all butt hurt because she’s number 42 on David’s Hot Girl list or something, idk she’s like 12 so who cares. Riley and his manfriend were nowhere to be see and Claire got a haircut which doesn’t take away the fact that her face is so damn big. Apparently there’s new students but we haven’t seen them so boo and yeah that’s all that’s happened so far. So before I go I would like to share two things with you…one, this:

Manny being…a cow or something.

And this, an inside look at the kids who I guess attend the school of Degrassi which is funny because we all know Degrassi is a set and these people are twenty something year olds being paid to do this. But it still doesn’t deny the fact that this is funny and needs to be seen.

So thank you for reading this very racket yet informative piece of literature and enjoy your night because I’m going to bed!

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