Nobuyoshi Araki

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. I’ve been in a bit of a different world, nothing too drastic, but I lose track of certain things sometimes.
More and more, I’m disappointed with my own inability to write a more focused entry since I feel so scattered. There are like a million things for me to write about, but I can’t concentrate on one.

So, I’ll just jump into it.

It’s bothersome how nostalgic I can get. I don’t like wishing for the past, but sometimes I get this tired feeling in my bones, I look at some photos, and I feel really heartsick. Thinking about my trip to London and Paris last June specifically make me feel this way. That was really the highlight of my whole 2009, even though it was not a perfect vacation; my dad made Paris very unenjoyable at times with his constant worrying and aggressiveness. Now that I think about it, it’s not that I miss that summer 2009 trip, it’s just that I really wish I could travel to London and Paris again. I wish I had the money to pay my own way, and the thought of having to wait years until I can set foot there again makes me so sad.

I hope to live in a number of different places in my lifetime. London and Paris definitely, and maybe throw NYC and Hong Kong in the mix, too. This might seem terribly idealistic, but in my dreams I never just settle. I love San Francisco, but I know I can’t stay here forever. I may return since I do love this city and my roots are here, but I need a change of scenery once in a while. We’ll see where I am in 4 or 5 years, after I have my undergraduate work done.

Yoko Ono does this thing called “Q&A Fridays” on Twitter, where you can ask her a question and she’ll answer a dozen or so every week. Anyway, I forgot what the question was, but she answered something like “Write down in a journal all your hopes and dreams. Years later, open it up and see that all of them have come true.” Or was that in one of her books? I forgot. Either way, Yoko Ono wrote it and it resonated with me. I think the achievements I’ve worked for and the obstacles I’ve overcome were very different from what I imagined I would’ve experienced when I was younger. And while I never know what the upcoming years and decades have in store for me, I am confident that no matter what, I can come out with new achievements and some happy experiences.

P.S. The photograph I added to the top of this entry is indeed very sad and gloomy (and also beautiful, emotional, expressional.) This turned out to be a lot more optimistic than I had thought. See, I really never know what may happen.

V xx

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