Archive for June, 2010

MALE MODELS SMOKING, soooo hot :D

I AMMM SHOCKED, FLABBERGASTED, JUST ABSOULTELY SURPRISED that I found a really cute asain male model. LIKE OMG, he is sooo cute, he’s rare like a 70 year old getting pregnant. Like ughhhhhh

Yeahhh… smoking is a bad habit, but IT’S SUCH A  CUTE ACCESSORY. :D

Sen Mitsuji

OMGGG I love smoking pictures, especially if it has a cute boy in it!!!

Here’s another one of my lovers :O Charlie France

I dieeeee, lover!!!!!! :)

ROBBIE WADGEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

I wonder what’s theier secret, how do they stay sooo goood looking all these years. ahahhhahah I mean looks will fade eventually. Such a tragedy I know.

That’s life’s ULTIMATE CRUELTY. “It gives us the taste of youth and vitality… and then, makes us witness our own decay.

JONAS KESSELER MOFOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I know this guy isn’t smoking but OMGGGGG HES SOO HOT, I need to put him here :D

Continue reading

Marshmallow test

Oh, The Temptation from Steve V on Vimeo.

The above video is a psychological experiment created in the 1960s (but the above video was not created back then). scientists expose children with one marshmallow on the table and tell them that they can either wait until the lady comes back and they’ll get another marshmallow or they can eat it right then and there and when the lady comes back they’ll still get another marshmallow.

The overall experiments tests how children make situations work for them. Most kids that went through this test 50 years ago showed their result in their overall life style

Vanessa’s Pride 2010

First off, I’d like to apologize for not posting in such a long time. The past week/weekend was crazy and I’ve definitely got to take this next week to get back into a different flow again.

So.. Pride weekend. I’m sure most of us have our own stories to share about this year’s Pride, and those who didn’t go this year probably have heard plenty of stories from friends. Overall, I had a great time this year! It wasn’t perfect, but any event with such heavy traffic and gigantic crowd will have its issues.


Lyric youth led the Trans March! We were all so happy and proud. I also marched beside a pioneer of the modern queer rights movement, a fierce woman who participated in the Compton Riots, but she left before we took this photo.

I went to the Trans March on Friday, Dyke March and Pink Saturday the next day, and to the Pride celebration at Civic Center on Sunday. I would have to say my favorites were the Trans March and hanging out at Dolores Park for Dyke March. I didn’t actually March in the Dyke March, which I totally regret, but hanging out during the day was really fun and chill.. and I spotted a lesbian from a certain reality TV show that is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me (more guilt than pleasure.) What made me like these events more than the others is really the crowd.
I’m sure we’ve heard of and/or seen the violence at Pink Saturday and Civic Center’s event in particular, and violence is NEVER something one wants to be around, especially in such a crowded area. This year, there was a shooting at Pink Saturday, and plenty of fights on Saturday and Sunday. The fights happen every year, and it’s always annoying and worrisome to be around, but the shootings in particular are extremely upsetting. Obviously some people don’t understand the meaning of “Pride”–having Pride in being queer (or an ally), accepting and celebrating one’s own identity and community. Violence doesn’t help any community. Violence separates and tears down communities.. and those who made Pride dangerous had absolutely no reason to be there.
I didn’t see one fight break out at the Trans or Dyke Marches–plenty of arguements and reading, but no physical fights. And I have to say I feel much better when I don’t have to be on the lookout for an arm smacking into my face everytime I walk near someone.


The view from the top, Dyke March at Dolores Park! So much fun

I would say that the Trans March attracts an extremely different crowd from all the other events. I noticed folks were mostly from the queer community and were all really there for the march and to support their friends. The transgender presence is also something that is missing from the larger Pride events, which are still sadly referred to by many as “Gay Pride“. Even as a queer woman who sometimes calls herself a lesbian, I feel excluded from “Gay Pride”. QUEER PRIDE is more like it.
Dyke March would come next in the list of events with a strong community presence. Although it’s still pretty huge, the crowd that comes out for it is MOSTLY queer women and their friends. However, Pink Saturday and Pride Parade/Civic Center events attracts such a wide range of people–really anyone who wants to party.. it’s not as much about QUEER PRIDE anymore, rather just having a good time. I know this because I’ve seen plenty of folks I know from high school who have homophobic sentiments at those parties. Are they there to celebrate Pride or support queer liberation? Highly doubt it. However, the good thing is that one is probably not going to be discriminated against for being a flaming queer at any Pride event, since even the heterosexists and cissexists know that it’s not the smartest place to commit hate crimes against queer people.

Cissexism: the belief that transsexual genders are less legitimate than, and mere imitations of, cissexual (non-transsexual) genders. (via Julia Serano, glossary, bottom of page)
Continue reading

I WANT TO LIVE IN MY UTOPIA

I wonder where people go to sell their souls to the devil to get what they want because that is definately something that I want to do. THE truth is, the real world sucks and it’s just full of dissapoitments. I just want to live in a world where I’m happy and beautiful, and being comfortable with who I am.  Though I’m learning a lot about myself and I feel that I’m loving the fact that I can be more independant.

I wish… that I could at least match up with the standard in society, E.G. I seriously will sell my soul if I could look like this ;)

And if I could have this on my arm, oh yeahhhhhhhhhh :D

After that I have those to things, hmmmmm, I wish that I could visit this time period

Style in the 60s wass sooo ahmazing mannnn!!! :( New York in the 60s? WOWWWW haahaah but they probably were hella homophobic.

SIGHHHHHH, so after getting new skin care products, i have to wait till my next pay check to get my Caestelbajac dress JULY 15th and I will get my DRESSS!!!!, I think it’ll be the prefect dress for my 18th Birthday. :D Which I have no Idea wat I’m going to do for it. :O

SCAM SCAM SCAM SCAM.

HEY YOU KIDS, YEA YOU!

DONT EVER EVER EVER SIGN UP FOR CRAP THAT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS ESPICALLY IF FOR ONE) NEVER HEARD OF IT AND TWO) RESEARCH BEFORE YOU PUT ANY OF YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION ON IT. GOD DAMMIT. I RECENTLY GOT SCAMMED AND GOT SUPER LECTURED BY EVERYONE. I KNOW IT’S MY FAULT, BUT PLEASE I’M TRYING TO SPREAD THE WORD THAT THIS GOD FORSAKEN WEBSITE/COMPANY.

SWIPEBIDS. I HOPE YOU BURN  FOR THE AGONY OF YOUR RELIABLE AND HONORABLE “CUSTOMERS”. I HOPE IT GOES DOWN IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN ECONOMY. YOU DID NOT STATE ANYTHING IN THE BEGINNING.

YOU ARE A BIG SCAM, AND EVERYONE IN YOUR COMPANY SAY’S THE SAME THING BECAUSE HEY! YOUR LIKE A PYRAMID SCAM TOO! IDIOT.

NOW, I’M KEEPING MY PROMISE. STATING WHAT YOUR COMPANY DOES. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT, ITS NOT LIKE EBAY. ITS WORST. PEOPLE HATE YOU FOR YOUR LONG BUTT HURT REFUND PROCESS. I REALLY DISLIKE ALL THIS SHABAM THAT YOUR DOING. ITS REALLY AGGRAVATING.

I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER SIGN UP FOR SWIPEBIDS.

I WAS CAUGHT IN THEIR TRAP, AND AS OF RIGHT NOW I’M TRYING TO GET MY REFUND. I WANT NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH YOUR COMPANY. GIVE ME BACK THAT MONEY. I DONT WANT TO HEAR THE CRAP AGAIN, STATING “I’M GOING THROUGH THE RIGHT PROCEDURE.” BUT NO. I WANT IT DONE AND I WANT TO GET RID OF THIS. I WILL SUE. IF ANYTHING. I REALLY HATE YOUR COMPANY.

money, jobs, college?

SO STRESSED! I hate the fact that this world is revolved around MONEY! HATE IT! I mean we are in debt as a country and we are also in debt as a state and worst my family is. I realized that my life is a living HELL. I’m saying this right now because whatever I plan for my future it goes sour.

So job, I’m losing it by the end of this month? ANNND about college. I think I’m going to the same college as daniel but there are other options that I rather take that I can have a stable income as fast as possible. OH BOY.

Oh housing, my main supporter for money is about to leave us. and I have NO idea where my family is going to be living. I’m insanely LOST, dont know what to do. I feel sad and stressed. I gotta take up my own responsibilities and I gotta do something. Hopefully, everything is just in my head?

oh and cousin shan, i want to borrow your bike.

PULLING A BRITNEY

So today is the fourth day where I haven’t stepped foot out of my house and exposed myself to society. I’m sad because it’s going to end tomorow and I’ll have to rejoin the rest of the world. GAG. I’m going to miss staying home and listening to “The Smiths” and “The Velvet Underground.” I’m going to miss my morning lifetimes shows too. :D “Deperate Housewives”, ‘Will and Grace”, and of course “Frasier.” It’s also been 96 hours where I haven’t worn any makeup, it’s really funny and I look wierd but I got used to it. UGH I dread tomorow, people? F*** I’m getting anti-social.

if I had the choice to not leave my house I would but I have to go to work tomorow to make my money. I’m still waiting on my surgery so for now I can just focus on my wardrobe. I’m still obsessing over the Castelbajac Spring 2010 Donald Duck sequin dress because it is seriously f******* amhhhhhaaazinggg, it’s gorgeous!!!

http://www.shopfatal.com/store/pc/viewPrd.asp?idproduct=1673&idcategory=0

It;s on sale for $415 but yeah it’s still pretty pricey, but it’s so beautiful that I might have to. ;)

OMMMMGGGGG I can’t wait till my surgery so I can pull my Britney. I may be suffering and bitch till I get it, but OMG it’s be worth the wait. After suffering and jealousy of watching others while getting “cute” and dressing up and able to be who they are will end soon. I may be hurt now, but I can’t wait to just come out of the cuts and be f****** amazing. I wish I could hide away or move to another country until then but I have to go to work. Get my clothes and magazines, my two favorite things. :D

MALE MODEL LOVE: These  boys are  up the ranks for  me , they’re the epitome of physical perfection.

SIMON NESSMAN

ETHAN JAMES

JULIUS BECKERS
Continue reading